Tangra boy’s stoicism his defence against extreme shock: Rights body rep, doctor
Times of India | 1 March 2025
123 Kolkata: Pratip Dey, the 14-year-old who, in a matter-of-fact manner, recounted on Thursday how his father and uncle killed his mother, aunt, and cousin and attempted to take his life, is displaying symptoms of complicated grief and is in a state of deep shock and denial, functionaries of the state child rights commission and a leading child psychiatrist told TOI.
"Pratip is in such shock over the upheaval that has happened in his family that he has not cried or displayed any external manifestation of mourning at the passing of his loved ones. From his own accounts, the Deys were a close-knit family. He was close to his mother, aunt, and cousin, all of whom he discovered were dead after an attempt was made on his own life by his father and uncle, who are also close to him," said West Bengal Commission for Protection of Child Rights former chairman and current advisor Ananya Chakraborti.
What she and others found unnerving during the conversation at NRS Hospital on Thursday was the calm and composed manner in which Pratip narrated the chilling incidents prior to the deaths of his loved ones and thereafter that was absolutely out of sync with the turmoil that a boy his age would undergo if his family was ravaged by such developments. "Even as I heard, I felt the chill. But he narrated everything in a matter-of-fact manner that is extremely unusual and shows how he is still in a state of deep shock," said Chakraborti.
During the conversation with Chakraborti, Pratip also expressed a sense of guilt at his inability to save his mother or aunt as he was heavily drugged and could not step in when his father and uncle killed them.
Senior child and adolescent psychiatrist Rima Mukherjee said though Pratip was narrating the incidents, he was in a state of denial as the enormity of what happened had not sunk in.
"One must remember that he has seen his closest people killed by others who are equally close to him. He is experiencing complicated grief. He has not had an emotional breakdown. Hence, his mechanical narration as though he has dissociated himself from the events. That is the shock and denial stage he is in. He is also experiencing guilt. There will be other stages: anger, bargaining, sinking in, depression, and acceptance. When they will happen is difficult to predict but it will help if he is accepted in a stable, supportive, and loving family that is sensitive to his situation. Putting him in an institutional home will not help. He may have anger issues; will probably experience mood swings. Pratip will also need professional counselling to deal with the post-traumatic stress disorder," said Mukherjee, adding that there are cases in which acceptance has come 40 years later.
WBCPCR has already written to the state health and family and child welfare departments, calling for urgent counselling for the boy. After learning from Pratip that he liked playing chess, the commission had sent a chess board to him at the hospital on Thursday evening. On Friday morning, a police constable who was on duty engaged him in a game of chess, the most normal activity that Pratip had experienced in over a week.
Stressing the need for Pratip to return to his school as soon as possible to at least be in one familiar environment, Mukherjee pointed out that he will no longer be able to live life like a child.
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