City women get vocal about the great gender debunk: The Kolkata adda edition
Times of India | 8 March 2025
(Clockwise) Prateeti Mandal, Roshni Agarwal, Arundhati Maitra, Rukmini Paul, Srabonti Ganguli, Shivangi Sen, Sarodiya Mondal and Susruta KarPics: Sourav Mukherjee Women have heard it all — they gossip too much, they can’t drive, their biological clock is ticking. But what happens when eight women from different walks of life sit down for an adda to bust these myths? Expect laughter, debate, and some hard-hitting truths. These outdated notions don’t stand a chance. Excerpts from an adda with these Kolkata women.
Bust that myth: beauty standards, creativity & the time we take!
Throughout the adda, each woman confronted and dismantled age-old stereotypes that have confined them for far too long. Social worker Rukmini Paul tackled body shaming head-on: “Women are always expected to have the ‘perfect body’ and look presentable. I’ve been told to lose weight more times than I can count—like my worth depends on it. And because of the way I look, people assume I must be meek. I wish people would stop telling me I’m too sensitive and start being more sensitive themselves.” Challenging another myth, psychology student Sarodiya Mondal questioned: “Why are women expected to pursue art, music, or creative fields as if it’s in our DNA? Creativity is a trait, not a gendered skill.”
‘Will you quit work after marriage?’
“Our parents worked hard to give us the best opportunities—just like they did for our brothers. So why is it always the woman who’s expected to make sacrifices?” questioned student Prateeti Mandal. “Men are never asked the same thing. Why is a woman’s career seen as optional while a man’s is non-negotiable?”
‘You take too long to get ready’
Final-year college student Roshni Agarwal called out the stereotype that women take forever to get ready: “Society expects women to look their best all the time, but when we take time to do so, it becomes an issue. Anyone can take time to get ready—even men. But women are constantly scrutinised for it.”
‘Is it that time of the month?’
Media professional Shivangi Sen rolled her eyes at this one: “I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve heard this from almost every man I’ve interacted with. I wish they understood that my emotions aren’t dictated by my menstrual cycle. My feelings are real—regardless of what’s happening inside my body.”
‘You’ll be such a good mother’
“It’s such a strange stereotypes — women are always expected to be natural caregivers,” said college student Susruta Kar. “But that’s not always true. Why don’t we ever tell men, ‘You’d be a great father’ or ‘You’d be a wonderful homemaker’? How often do we hear people say to a woman, ‘You’d make a great CEO’?”
‘You hate your mother-in-law, don’t you?’
We hear it all the time, but is it really true? Entrepreneur Arundhati Maitra busted this myth with a smile: “I have a beautiful relationship with my mother-in-law—just like I do with my own mother. I care for her just as I do for my own mother. It’s always about love and respect.”
‘Women are such bad drivers’
Entrepreneur Srabonti Ganguli, who has been driving since college, said, “Where did this myth even come from? That men are naturally better drivers? That they automatically know all the road rules? Women are flying planes, going to space—why should driving be any different?”
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